College Kids Don’t Know How to ‘Do It’

First, Rush Limbaugh was shocked that Georgetown law students had sex (much less found time to). Then, just last week, I was giving a lecture to a class on sexuality at Lynchburg University and the students seemed surprised to learn that people are still having sex—often better sex—after 50. There are 6.8 billion people in the world and yet everyone seems taken aback that there are people engaging in sexual intercourse.

Face the facts: Most everyone interested in sex is having sex—from the children in high schools that we try to prevent from doing it, to college kids who think that just because they can do it and are doing it that they’re doing it right, to those of us in our prime who know what and how we like to do it.

COLLEGE KIDS NEED TO HAVE A MORE RESPECT FOR THE ACT OF SEX!

Supply & Demand The younger generation today doesn’t know how to value sex. The boys will try to mount anything that moves (and some things that don’t) and the girls will lift their skirts at the first hot guy that gives them attention. Just because it’s right in front of you doesn’t mean you have to take it. There are thousands of potential mates in this city, many on your campus, so make the effort to not have “I wish I wouldn’t have slept with __,” moments and more, “OMG, _ rocked my world,” moments.

Quality over Quantity Keeping with the “rocked my world” train of thought, many guys think the game is over when the girl (or guy) says “yes” to sex. Au contraire! It’s not enough to just have the opportunity to have sex, you need to make it meaningful sex. Sure, a quickie in the morning or a sneak-away study break after lunch is fine, but when one of you reaches a point where you’re just going through the motions and not giving it 100%, it’s time to switch it up a bit. If all you want is an orgasm, you can take care of that yourself. Sex is about the experience…the adventure, and the often forgotten reality of a relationship. Explore each others’ sexual interests and fantasies, divulge in opening up to new ideas, and keep unfulfilling sex out of the game!

Safety vs. SAFETY Condoms, birth control, pregnancy, STDs, HIV, AIDS—they’re all common place words that, in the heat of the moment, rarely seem to make it through to the intelligent parts of the brain when hormone-driven sex is at hand. But these are real issues! And there really is no excuse not to use protection. Even the most extreme sexual encounters can be grounded in safety—it doesn’t matter if you’re having “before bedtime sex” in your apartment on a Thursday evening or if you’re three hours into an all night orgy, you’re good to go as long as you’ve established a safe word, everyone uses protection, and the harness is securely fastened to the ceiling with eye-bolts and anchors.

If you want to take it back old school and skip the necessary precautions, you do so at your own risk, but don’t put your partner at risk. Know your status and communicate with your sex partner. There are several places in DC that offer free and anonymous STD and HIV testing, so Google one that’s convenient for you.

The bottom line: I’ve been around long enough to know that, regardless of cultural or societal opinions of sex, people will continue to engage in sexual activities. However, there is never a reason to devalue sex. Sex is your birthright—a wonderful, powerful experience shared between two people—sometimes more—and if you’re going to have sex, please, have safe and fulfilling sex…the kind of sex that makes life worth living!

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Fri, 19 Dec 2014 19:56:03 -0500

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